Survivors on a Mission
Many people seem to see social media as some kind of curse and granted there are a bunch of negative side-effects to being able to share your entire life online. like online bullying.
But, on the other had, the voice that social media and the internet as a whole, have given to abuse survivors is truly beneficial. A voice has been given to people, who didn’t really have one before. Whether it is a whistle-blower, a creative person who finally gets to promote their art, or an abuse survivor.
Finding your voice is important in any case, but for abuse survivors it is also an essential part of the healing journey. And if you’re not comfortable telling your story to others, it may be enough to tell it to yourself. Very often the trauma, we survived stays stuck inside of us, quietly wreaking havoc. Others might not understand what we’re going through and surviving abuse can be very lonely at times. So, while we need to be careful whom we share our stories with, there is a sense of relief in doing so and an opportunity to find others, who have been through something similar. Finding your own tribe, a family, whatever you wanna call it – it is essential.
Another big plus of sharing your insights – raising awareness! People have started to tell their stories, be it on social media, platforms like YouTube, they’ve written books, blogs, they have podcasts etc.
But the point is that survivors of abuse now DO share their stories, whether they have a professional background, as in the field of psychology or not. And that is great!
Abuse has been going on for eons and all over our beautiful planet. But never before, has there been a time when information about it was so widespread. We can now just google terms, like ‘gaslighting’ or ‘dog-whistling’ and educate ourselves. And that goes for everyone – people, who may have no idea how serious these things are, people who are being abused and survivors. Everyone gets a fair chance to find out the truth of what’s out there. But all of this has another huge advantage. It makes the life of abusive people harder.
Awareness is everything. And when victims of abuse start to actually understand what mechanisms lie behind the atrocities they had to endure, it’ll get harder and harder for abusers to have their way.
People who are aware, that they are being gaslighted are much harder to be gaslighted. When you eventually learn that other victims of domestic violence found a safe place and were able to escape, you might be empowered to ditch your own unhealthy relationship. When someone with a lack of self-love becomes aware, that this is a direct result of childhood abuse and realises that the person, who molested them as a child is the same individual who made them feel so unworthy in the first place – the cycle can be broken.
Abusers are manipulators. Often the manipulation of their victims, is enough abuse in itself. But their entire gig depends heavily on being able to influence their victims, especially if the abuse is ongoing. At the very least they need to make you believe that this is OK, meaning that it is not actually abuse and if you think that, you are the crazy one. Or they make you think that you are the problem and this is happening to you because you deserve it. Because you are inherently bad. But in some way, shape or form, they need to have some sway over you, to keep you in line.
So, when the victim starts to educate themselves about the mechanisms abusers employ, this narrative becomes much harder to maintain or may even be completely destroyed. Speaking out and dragging these abusive mechanisms into the open, makes it harder for abusers to follow through on their plans and, I truly believe, that it may even help prevent some things from happening.
And while I fully understand that me and my blog are just tiny little fish in the vast ocean of the internet, I have to admit that I actually feel honoured to be a tiny little part of this problem for abusive individuals. I am not a therapist, psychiatrist or in any way formally educated, when it comes to these matters. All I have are my personal experiences. But still, I do believe that every voice that may provide even a little bit of insight, can be helpful.
So, please find your voice if you can. Every story counts. Every story helps.
This is a valuable source with some tips when it comes to the safety of kids: https://www.siebenpolklaw.com/child-safety-tips/
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